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Thoughts on Grindr

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LJay
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Re: Thoughts on Grindr

Post by LJay » Wed Sep 27, 2017 12:52 am

Gollllllllllleeeeeeeeeee, Axle, if I were worried about looks I would have shot myself long ago. I do get your point, though. My big hurdle is age. I would certainly like something physical but I am very much after just plain friendly companionship. I need hangout friends. I don't even care if they are gay, though my experience is that straight guys tend to theink that you are after their goodies. That is either too much ego or too much insecurity, I dunno. I also tend to like guys , and younger guys at that. There is just more energy there. Oh, well...........

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Re: Thoughts on Grindr

Post by Axle » Wed Sep 27, 2017 8:37 am

LJay wrote:
Wed Sep 27, 2017 12:52 am
Gollllllllllleeeeeeeeeee, Axle, if I were worried about looks I would have shot myself long ago. I do get your point, though. My big hurdle is age. I would certainly like something physical but I am very much after just plain friendly companionship. I need hangout friends. I don't even care if they are gay, though my experience is that straight guys tend to theink that you are after their goodies. That is either too much ego or too much insecurity, I dunno. I also tend to like guys , and younger guys at that. There is just more energy there. Oh, well...........
Well I was and often still am a bit critical about my looks. I'm not stylish and I'd say I'm average looking at best. Even when I was 29...30 I was told that I was too old, as crazy as that sounds. Not sure why, but when I was in my teens and 20's I did set pretty stringent age limits. I don't know where ageism came from, it wasn't taught to anyone, it wasn't taught to me. I think the only cure to that is maturity, I mean 18 year olds, or even guys who are approaching 30 can't grasp the true concept of age and that not every guy is looking to fuck you. However, if a 20 year old guy and a 65 year old want to get it on, so be it. Me personally, having something physical between me and someone who is a lot older than me doesn't seem like it would be my cup of tea...then again I'm finding that the older I get the less sexual of a person I am. I'm finding companionship to be much more valuable. Not to go on a rant, but I do also want to at some point have kids but I do know before that can ever happen I do need to have certain things in order, I can't continue to piss away money on things I am wanting in the here and now.

Anyway, there are younger guys who are both looking for friendship or something physical with older guys. It is fairly common that I either hear of or see it in the gay community. However, there are a lot of young guys are very nasty and rude, so do have to be aware of that sort of thing. I don't think Grindr would be something I would use to find guys just to hang out with, most are looking for sex...so it can be used for that. Likewise, that is just generally speaking, can never be sure what you're going to find. POF might serve you better in that area.

Oddly enough the way I met my boyfriend was on POF. I did it by sending messages, just something like "Hey, how are you?" something generic. Yeah a lot of guys never responded, some did and I would try having conversations with them. Some guys just never got beyond elevator talk and some guys turned out to be jerks and some guys just randomly stopped talking, except one and ended up going on a few dates and things just clicked. Now I don't have any battery killing dating apps on my phone. I probably messages over 50 people, maybe 1/4 responded and maybe another 1/4 actually carried on some sort of conversation. There are less guys who are seeking sex on POF but there are also fewer guys on POF over Grindr, the two attract very different demographics within the LGBT community, at least when it comes to men (I would love to have a female member to speak on this same subject).

I think most people are insecure and egotistical. I think a lot of the world's issues these days are at least partly due to those two things right there. If only we could get over ourselves...

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Re: Thoughts on Grindr

Post by TwisttheLeaf » Thu Sep 28, 2017 11:50 pm

I guess there is a slim possibility, so.... it is possible. But, Grindr is geared towards hook-ups, not relationships. Thus, it's kind of like using a butter knife to pound in a nail. It's the wrong tool for the job.

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Re: Thoughts on Grindr

Post by Axle » Fri Sep 29, 2017 8:40 am

TwisttheLeaf wrote:
Thu Sep 28, 2017 11:50 pm
I guess there is a slim possibility, so.... it is possible. But, Grindr is geared towards hook-ups, not relationships. Thus, it's kind of like using a butter knife to pound in a nail. It's the wrong tool for the job.
That's the general consensus. Although often enough I heard about guys who go on grindr looking for guys to date, so there is a population, who know how many, who are using grindr without having a hook-up in mind... I was one of them and being a 20 something year old guy (back in the day) I found myself to be quite confused and thinking there was something wrong with me. I know things are different for everyone, say if I were in a big city growing up might have a different outlook on dating or how to date rather.

But yes yes, totally agree, definitely not the best choice, but there is always eye candy on there ;)

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